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[personal profile] persephone20
(Cross-posted to my blogger: http://nicole-d-fergusson.blogspot.com.au)

One year ago, this book showed up on my Tumblr feed. Now, I love fairy tales, I love fairies, I love fantasy. It's pretty safe to say I love all these things to do with 'F'.



It's also safe to say that I enjoy reading Young Adult fiction.

So, as you can imagine, when I finally got around to this novel, it was an absolute delight to read!

Part Holly Black's Valiant, part Cassandra Clare's 'The Mortal Instruments', part Alex Flinn's Beastly, this book was all parts awesome. Sarah Cross managed to put into this fairy tale novel a real sense of grittiness into the town of Beau Ridge which is, to all intents and purposes, a fairy tale town. But not a nice, censored, Disney-style town. This is a town in which Bluebeard tries to pick up the damsel in distress and Sleeping Beauty makes the choice to prick her finger in order to save her life.

In all honesty, after a year of knowing about this book and not being able to find it, I almost completed the whole thing in a day!

The only reason why I didn't was, of course, because the reading of this book also overlapped with the last days of having my partner's daughter in the state. She is absolutely adorable, and I wouldn't have missed out on a minute of extra time I got to spend with her.

However, as some of you know, I've been dealing with depression and anxiety over the last several months, and I gave it until the date of this little lady's departure to stay on a regular course of St. John's wort and see if that might prove a possible alternative to something harsher, like anti-depressants.

It's not been all smooth sailing. During the time of this course, my car battery died outside of a shopping centre and it seems like the very warm weather Melbourne has been experiencing aided an infestation of maggots in my living room. In addition to that, my work lifted the 20 hours per week of my contract to a full 40 hours over two weeks. Last week was a very shit week. And it was with a combination of practical solutions to these problems as well as the mental space that the St. John's offered that got me through it. I've had to jump up to 2000mg (a full sized tablet rather than the tablet cut in half) to get the effect I wanted.

This week has been much easier.

The only problem I'm facing now? The knowledge that I'm not ready to come off this herbal supplement just yet. I have tried halving the dose again, cutting it down while still keeping it in my system. Within hours after, I'm feeling anxiety creeping up and I just don't have the mental reserves yet to keep it at bay, to shut it in a box called 'Irrational' and keep moving forward. Not yet.



So, I'm still leaning on it, then. For a little while longer at least.

Date: 2013-01-17 08:00 am (UTC)
steamcat: (Dr Who: Dr11 & Amelia Hug)
From: [personal profile] steamcat
I'd like to share with you an analogy I came up with recently:

If you discovered you had a serious chemical imbalance in your liver that adversely affected your quality of life, what would you do about it? You'd probably seek medical help, take whatever medications were necessary to mitigate the effects of the imbalance, and undergo whatever therapies were necessary to cure the imbalance (if possible) or at least manage it as much as possible. And you would be called brave and strong and all sorts of lovely complimentary things for doing this, for fighting the imbalance, for taking care of yourself.

Now substitute "brain" for "liver". Why is it suddenly different? Why do we consider ourselves or others weak for having that imbalance, or for seeking medical assistance, or for taking medications and therapies to manage the imbalance?

You're not weak for needing the St. John's Wort to manage your bad brain chemicals. You're strong for recognising the problem and identifying a solution to help you manage it. You're strong for taking the steps to manage it at all. You're strong for being able to talk about it, too. You're not weak. You're not broken. And you never will be, even if you end up needing the St. John's Wort for the rest of your life (which I doubt you will). You are strong and beautiful and so utterly, vividly alive. And I love that the St. John's Wort helps you stay that way!

*hugs* Keep taking care of yourself!

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March 2013

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